


Memories that haunt

by Lame_Writer



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Blood, Death, Despair AU, Despair Era (Dangan Ronpa), Despair TeruTeru, Hope vs. Despair, Implications of death, Murder, Post-Despair (Dangan Ronpa)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23108569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lame_Writer/pseuds/Lame_Writer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Memories that haunt

He had lost his memories long ago, signing a deal with the She Devil herself in an unknown twist of events that clambered through to the back of his mind. He had never once afterwards questioned his past, nor had ever wanted to remember from what Junko had told him. He believed everything she had ever handed to him with full hopes on the honesty that was never there. Every waking moment he’d eagerly await the word as if gospel, taking every order as if it were a walk in the park. There were some days he’d walk pass somewhere he was sure he’d never been, but a memory would play as if he was there once before - only leaving a bitter taste in his mouth as he would keep going. 

Yet today was different, the bitter taste of anger was now curiosity, he wanted to remember everything that he had missed. Today was the day that he had doubted her ‘truths’, doubted her words and orders as she put them to be righteous and good; only furthering his boiling, burning curiosity to remember the past, who he was before the beginning of the end. Every time he were to even show a shred of doubt by asking questions or giving the wrong glance, however would flip the switch on Junko’s newest fit, half an hour at most one why no one should question her superiority. It pissed off TeruTeru the longer his mind lingered on it, each word being the right one to push all the wrong buttons. 

He had even had to hold back from killing her on multiple occasions, knowing if he were to fail or he was captured by others in her large gathering of followers that there would be severe consequences. He didn’t want to take that chance and followed through each day without struggle. He felt determined despite orders given only moments ago, this was his time to be able to remember what and who he was in the past. Making his way to one of the only working subways, he didn’t know why he would but it felt right - as if a part of him yearned to go to a place he never remembered. Shuffling his feet down the isles of empty seats until he flopped onto one with a sigh, not knowing where his thoughts were screaming at him to go but just hoping he’d know where the right stop would be so this wouldn’t be a wild goose chase that went no where but made him feel worse than he already did.

Mustering the strength to not give in to his doubtful thoughts that budded as the subway began to move. Watching the ruined cities buildings only become blurs and flashes of grim, dark colors with the occasional bright color being faded into almost nothing. He wanted to believe he wasn’t damaged, wanted to feel fixable and free but that’s what he played in his mind. Kicking his feet mindlessly; trying to pass the time with trivial distractions to avoid getting lost in his own head and risk missing the possible once in a lifetime opportunity to regain even a little of his memories before the day of chaos. Almost nothing seemed to work as his stomach lightened and tightened in a mixed up pattern, his hands became shakier, and he was almost certain with how light headed he was becoming he’d drop unconscious on the tile floor beneath him; yet, he didn’t - he stayed conscious even with the feeling of his body shifting side to side from everything but the subways swift movements down the iron tracks.

The sound was almost comforting, no one was screaming whether in pain or a speech, no one to tell him what to do, it was just him and the open tracks to his destination - on his own terms. Even if his mind told him no one would’ve questioned nor missed him anyways, he wanted to make himself believe they would even if it that as well ate him alive.

——

After what felt like hours had passed, the subway stopped and his body reacted quite positively to it. His energy spiked upwards and the dizzy feeling had quickly. Shooting up out of his seat he sped walked out of the subway and to what looked like a city, but it was hard to tell since it was just as ruined as the one he last lived in. Looking around like a curious toddler, hoping that ‘This building has to be it’ or ‘this is it ! This has to be it’ only to be filled with disappointment, making the search for his memories be derailed each time with each wrong guess and assumption that he brought up. He had time, yes but he was also getting impatient he was worried he might forget his memories completely if he didn’t find his old ones, living that stinging internal pain of paranoia eat and tear at his mind as he wandered.

Soon enough though he came across a diner in ruins, at first he tried to brush it off like all the others he thought that it wouldn’t be the one. But by taking another glance, it gave him a feeling of nostalgia, despite its partly cracked walls, cracked, busted and dirtied windows and other factors that would call it a hazard - it was still standing. Even in the faintest hue he could still make out the partly destroyed sign.

‘Hanamura Family Diner’

The light once pastel red background of the large sign against the wall and above the door with the white coloring of the letters flickering in his mind for a minute or two, the building looked fresh and taken care of before the memory flickered out but not forgotten, showing back to the diner now. Faded colors and dimmed lettering, sides of the sign cracked and split. Withered away into almost nothing left. He felt his heart begin to pound from the sudden vision of the past, it felt so comforting, so warm, so happy, and so hopeful - he needed more of it, he wanted to have and hold that feeling for as long as possible. The faint hint of hope had him hooked instantly, cautiously walking towards the double doors which blocked the vision of inside do to the blood and other things that dirtied the glass, only a few parts of it exposed and broken;however, still not viewable do to the darkness inside the hopeless diner. 

He froze in place once in front of the doors, nothing he was aware of was stopping him - no one was behind him or in front of him, he was alone but something stopped him from entering. Maybe it was fear, fear of learning who he was to soon see who he has become today. To see if he had worsened despite his constant denial that he ever changed, and maybe he was just scared. Taking a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly before opening them again. 

“Calm down TeruTeru, nothing bad is going to happen - just,, just go in there and explore and it’ll be fine” he muttered to himself, attempting to reassure himself while calming down his increasingly faster pounding heart as his anxiousness began to grow, itching it skin with the reminder that he would remember things that might break him more. Shaking his head he snapped out of it, pressing his hands flat against the glass and pushed one of the doors open. Unintentionally walking forward, the shutting with a light ring of a bell fading in and out. 

——

“Mama !” The sounds of distress filling his tone as tears forming and growing in his eyes, vision blurred and the feeling of water rolling down his cheeks and down his chin. Running around the busy tables, around the counter and pressing his body against the door to push it open, stumbling in and nearly falling on the clean black and white tile flooring of the kitchen. A tall woman who was once cleaning vegetables, looking towards the familiar voice that sobbed out her named looked side to side for a brief second before looking towards the door to see him. Her peaceful smile turning into a worried frown, putting the vegetables on the counter as she rushed over to his side, kneeling down to get to his height. 

“What’s wrong pumpkin ?” The woman questioned in a soft yet worried tone. Through sniffles he showed a bleeding cut on his arm, minor but it looked as if he was very young in the sudden memory. 

Mama smiled reassuringly, picking him up and going to the bathroom, cleaning the wound gently, putting a small bandaid over top the wound and ending it with a kiss over the bandaid causing him to let out a giggle and the pain eased to a stop. 

“There you go, is that all better sugar ?” Mama asked in a calm yet cheery tone to get nodding and a hug in exchange. Mama laughed and hugged back with a gentle grip. 

”I love you TeruTeru” she happily whispered in her motherly tone. Soon he let out a laugh as well. 

“I love you too mama !” He eagerly replied, the innocence and joy at the young age he was at was heart melting. 

——

The memory snapped away from his vision, leaving him silently crying while staring at the ruin of what remained of the restaurant. 

“No...” he muttered at first, his heartbeat picking up as his emotions spiked. His hands became shaky fists. 

“No,, No, NO NO !” He choked on his breaths as he screamed into the stagnant air. His hands unfolding from their tight gripped fists to grip the sides of his head, memory after memory of his mother continued causing more and more distress. 

——

His mother held a piece of paper, stars in her eyes as she looked at it then back at him, he held crayons in his small hands as he stared up at her with a proud smile on his face. 

“It’s so lovely sweetheart ! My little artist” she praised, only raising his spirits more. a wide smile on his face as excitement made him more energized. Jumping in place in glee as his mother smiled a little more. 

——

While his stress grew higher and higher, the sound of footsteps anxiously ran closer weren’t heard in the beginning. The door opened and a tattered clothed, malnourished man stumbled in. A relieved smile on his face as he saw TeruTeru’s back towards him. 

“Thank-thank god ! Hello ? Heh-hey, uh - I heard you screaming and, and crying when I got really close here and maybe we can work together ?”he happily offered. TeruTeru flinched, his eyes opening once again, not bothering to wipe his tears. He clenched his jaw, his body was shaky and tense, his mind filling back memories of his past with each second passing by, causing more stress and the man who showed up only made him angry. 

“LEAVE ME ALONE !” TeruTeru shouted, quickly turning around with his heels, taking the knife out from his apron and threw it without hesitation, hitting the man in between the eyes. The mans eyes widened only a moment, the knife was deep enough where only the handle was visible, tissue and skin being split open slight ripped paper, blood flowing down his face like rain, dripping down onto the floor and the mans clothes. After a minute of idle wobbling standing the man fell forward onto the ground, sinking the knife deeper into his skull. TeruTeru heavily panted, watching the man fall with a look of rage in his eyes and tears of despair still falling from his face. 

“Mama, I - I need to find mama —“ he mumbled aloud. 

“She has to be here-she just,, she just has to be !” His mutter turned almost into a shout as more tears collected and fell. He began to move forward, carefully moving around the tables and chairs as he would in the past. It seemed like he was doing it casually now, all the memories he was able to get while standing foot in where he was born made those instincts just come back like the memories. 

He had to shove the door harder, as it seemed it was locked from the inside, but that wasn’t a struggle for him he was able to break the lock with enough force. Pushing it open with the side of his body. Even the kitchen looked in ruins, though slightly cleaner it just wasn’t the same anymore. He didn’t want to believe she was gone, maybe she was just missing, or out and gone to get something - yeah that was it, that’s the only answer ! 

He started walking towards the stares, slowly as his hope for her survival grew more and more - making him rather desperate. 

——

“Mama, please you’ve already collapsed once - I can’t have you working so hard” he spoke cautiously, much older now, mama let out a giggle and waved her hand dismissively. 

“No illness is going to keep me from doing my job pumpkin, I’ll be fine” she reassured in her usual happy, motherly tone. This didn’t convince him, he had worked twice as hard to make sure mama didn’t overwork herself and fall for a second time - fearing he couldn’t save her that time if she did. But her mother seemed self assured that her health would be fine in the long run. He would always check in on her, wether about to go to bed or through times during work, he feared the illness was getting worse yet he couldn’t tell if it did as she kept a strong face and positive attitude all the time, even on the darkest days.

His heart sank as he saw her going through the day knowing her days were numbered. It became difficult to bear to know she was in so much pain, yet she forced herself through it 7 days a week, all day everyday. 

——

Walking up the creaking stairs, cobwebs being pushed down and out of the way, he flipped a switch. With the light barely working it flickering on to its brightest then went down to a dim hue, flickering every few moments as if on its last breath. But he seemed unfazed, going through the hallway with his arms wrapped around him. 

“Mama ? M-Mama it’s me - where are ya -“ he called out, hoping to reach the one he was looking for. Walking down with slow, hesitant steps as he made his way around the rooms, he couldn’t find her anywhere. The only room he didn’t check was her own room, he swallowed the lump in his throat as he turned around and made his way back to the all, the air seemed more tense now - making his way to his mothers room door, dragging his feet as if chained to the ground and below. Soon he made his way to the door, he balled one hand into a shaky fist, slowly bringing it up only hovering a few inches from the door. He felt like he couldn’t move for a few seconds before he pushed away his fear and lightly knocked on the door, being his hand down as he did so. 

He waited. 

A few minutes turned into an hour and, he grew more and more anxious, in the midst of his panic he quickly grabbed at the doorknob. Stopping himself from moving once he realized where it was, but didn’t more away. He contemplated the decision, mama was never mad at him for doing it before - so why is he so scared of doing it now ?

Slowly turning the knob until a faint click was heard, he slowly opened the door - the creaking noise not helping his sinking feeling in his chest. The room was dark with the only light entering was from the hallway, he tried turning on the lights in her room but they didn’t seem to work. Internally screaming he decided to try and navigate to her instead. 

“Mama ? Hey...Mama ?” He softly, almost quietly spoke - hoping if mama was asleep she’d awaken to his voice. 

Not a single response was given back. 

He felt a cold sweat forming, starting to walk inside the room and walk towards the single mattress bed, feeling around for a body but nothing was there, only silky soft sheets and fuzzy blankets overtop a cold bed. Shivers of fear and paranoia went down his spine as he turned around and looked around the rest of his mothers room for any whereabouts of her. Soon he went to her bedside drawer, pulling open the drawer carefully to see nothing out of the ordinary, besides on pamphlet in particular that laid facedown in the center of the drawer. 

He slowly picked it up, once at a certain distance he turned it around, some of it was crossed off, the first name and date were scratched off completely with something and unreadable. But a picture that wasn’t tampered with that in the center, it was mama. 

She was smiling - but this wasn’t a good pamphlet. The longer he looked at the single paged paper he felt his heart beat faster, body temperature rise, and the tears that dried off now returned. It was a memorial picture, she was dead. She was dead and he didn’t even know about it until now. He felt as if he was going to collapse, everything hit him at once. He bass no time to think, all of his thoughts piling onto him at once, weighing on his shoulders until he could emotionally and mentally not take it anymore. 

“Please-Please come back !” He screamed into the void, no one there to hear his sobs as he felt his body grow weak and shaky. His heart broken with the only one who was truly there for him gone, with a blink of an eye - getting his memories back only to find out she’s dead. 

“Please don’t leave me ! I don’t want to be alone again !”

But nobody answered.


End file.
